Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
