I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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