just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
They have beer where we have blood.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
