In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Drunk is not a location!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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