i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
