Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
