The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
