this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
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Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
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I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
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