Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
