the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
