grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
