I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
