They should really pass out barf bags in church
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
My vagina just recognized that song.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
