I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Its about making memories worth repressing
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
