Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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