i already hear my dad disowning me
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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