Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize