Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
