He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
