Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize