and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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