I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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