i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
