Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize