Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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