are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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