hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize