try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
