We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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