is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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