Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
