Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
