tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize