Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im holly from the hills drunk
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize