I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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