Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
