I will die if light touches me.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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