never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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