Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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