ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
