You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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