I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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