I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize