Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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