I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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