Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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