it was like his penis was on wheels.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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