I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Never underestimate the power of titties
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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