Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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