I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
