Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
