You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
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SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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