there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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