you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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