Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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