How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
